Monday, July 7, 2008

Experiencing the Glory of God

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What does it truly mean to die to self? For even when I deny my flesh I’m still embodied in this temple made of flesh and bones. Does it mean to walk by faith, and mortify the flesh by the power of the Holy Spirit which dwells within me? Does it mean to deny the desires of my deceitful and desperately wicked heart? Does it mean to overcome the slothfulness that always wants to be at rest, and put aside how my flesh feels in order to be a disciplined servant a/k/a a disciple? Perhaps it means all of the above, and more. There is quite a cost to be a true disciple, quite a price to pay to deny my self and have a nevertheless not my will but God’s will be done attitude. It is something my soul desires, yet I know I’m not there yet. I’m certainly learning as I go, stumbling my way through mistakes and disappointments, trials and painful experiences, learning that God is all-sufficient and He alone is in complete control.

I want to see Christ glorified within my mortal body in every aspect possible. I want to be everything that Paul expressed in his 13 epistles in relation to being sold out for Christ. As the apostle of faith Smith Wigglesworth wrote in his book Ever Increasing Faith, I want the Holy Spirit to be realer to me than the very earth that surrounds me. As the late prophet Leonard Ravenhill once spoke, I want to rid myself of anything that would take away from Christ being the central focus of my life, even when it comes to carnal entertainment, holding on to the conviction that it is the devil’s substitute for joy. I have already counted everything as trash compared to knowing, experiencing and treasuring the excellency of Jesus Christ as my Lord, Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. But I have yet to pass through the threshold from knowing about God through His Word into actually knowing God intimately through the person of Jesus Christ. I have yet to experience the supernatural encounters I desire and regularly spend time with Him, converse with Him, worship Him behind the veil where He reveals Himself as He did with Moses and Paul, among others.

Yet even without these experiences, my love and passion for His glory continues to grow every minute of every hour of every day. I don’t need proof of the reality of Christ, I am fully persuaded of the truth of the Gospel and the complete inerrancy of the Bible. I no longer need to see to believe as Thomas and the other disciples did after the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has truly become the satisfaction of my soul, and I need no substitutes. No matter where I find myself, no matter how I feel, no matter the shortcomings and mistakes I make, I will continue to hold on to the love that God has extended towards me and press my way through this race until I reach the end, where the manifested glory of God will be revealed without measure. Then I will see that everything I endured was worth it.
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