I grew up in a very unique Mormon culture. Living in the inner city of Boston, MA, our branch (and later ward) was not your stereotypical Mormon church. We were a mixed bunch. We had the Mormon born and bred Utahans who were in Boston for school. We had the converts, most of which were of Haitian, African American, or Hispanic descent, who were introduced through the missionaries. And we had the return missionaries who loved our church so much they moved back to Boston after their mission. I was one of the few white convert families, and one of the only white young men. The church was a very positive environment. Mormon doctrine was not pushed as much as community and good works, and in many ways we were more of a social club than anything else. Yes, doctrine was preached, but from my recollection, personal emphasis was rarely placed on the Book of Mormon, Bible, and other church material. People were there for the community, a positive culture that was vastly different than what many of us experienced in our own families and neighborhoods.
Most of the youth were just like the world in their deeds and actions. I myself was a scam artist, others smoked weed, were sexually active, all of us infused into both the positive and negative aspects of the hiphop generation. There were only a few that attempted to walk the "straight and narrow." Most of the leaders knew this, but they were just happy that we were going to church, and quite frankly they were not just our leaders, they were our friends.
I remember being 15 years old and speaking to a street preacher in front of the State Street Orange Line station downtown. I told him I was a Mormon and we spoke for a few minutes, then he handed me some material on why he claimed Mormonism was false. The next day I went to church with the pamphlets and investigated it with a dear friend (who has since passed away - was shot and killed at 19 years old in an act of senseless violence). We started to refute what was said by what we were taught. Once some of the leaders found out they told us not to read it anymore, since it was not published by the Mormon church it couldn't be trusted. That experience planted some tangible seeds in my mind and heart and my questioning of what I had been taught as a Mormon heightened to a new level.
From that day forward major Doctrinal issues, such as the Curse of Cain, Polygamy, Adam-God Teaching, the brotherhood of Jesus and Lucifer, and Temple Rites (As a teenager, I visited the DC temple, pictured above, and performed baptisms for the dead), to name a few, led me on a road towards the Truth.
After being inactive for a while, I decided to embark upon a journey to Rexburg, Idaho and Ricks College (now known as BYUi). There I experienced the culture shock of my life. I found that the Mormons there were not like the Mormons I knew at the Boston Branch. They seemed like very nice, genuine people, but were almost like robots, programmed how to think, act and talk. I felt like I was stuck in an episode of the twilight zone! It was at that point I saw how people who grew up in or had acclimated themselves to the Mormon church had not just accepted a belief system, but a way of life. Those that were Mormons were accepted wholeheartedly. Those that questioned or went against the Mormon teachings were ostricized. It even seemed ok to be inactive, as long as you didn't question or speak up against the Mormon church or their prophet.
I could no longer be a part of it, and I began to see negative cultic characteristics with my very eyes. Still not completely convinced that the religion itself was false, I could not be a part of this culture.
Strolling through websites such as http://www.exmormon.org/, http://www.exmormonfoundation.org/, and http://www.postmormon.org/, I've seen a trend of those struggling with the revelation that the Mormon religion is not true, but wanting to stay so that they can keep the cultural and familial values that the Mormon community offers. This was almost the opposite position I found myself in, wanting to cut away from the culture yet still believing the core teachings were true. Not too long ago I spoke with a few Mormon friends online, who basically shared the same sentiment: they love the culture, think the religion is false, but stay for the sake of their families, their friends, and business connections. Disconnecting from the culture oftentimes means a disconnect from everything you know in life and starting over. Most people don't want to make that kind of a sacrifice.
The only answer to overcoming the difficulties of leaving the Mormon culture is faith in Jesus Christ. The real Jesus of the Bible.
No comments:
Post a Comment